Tiny Bubbles

Yesterday night I stopped at my local Zellers, to continue my neverending quest for Wii Fitness. Just a quick in and out, nothing more than 3 minutes top (unless they had some, which I highly doubted). Lovely Wife asked that I bring back some things with wings for her. No problem. It’ll still be 3 minutes.

WRONG.

15 minutes later, I’m stuck in line behind that school principal looking guy. He’s buying 48 little soap bubble thingies (how do you call these?), but he’s anal about them. He insists that the clerk rings them one-by-one, in order for him to verify that the 30% rebate gets applied properly. The clerk explains that she can do 48x and then scan one article and be done. He still insists. She gives up.

He picks one item with his right hand, transfers is to his left, gives it to the clerk. She picks it up, scans it. He grabs it back, looks at the register monitor, nods, gives the item back to the clerk, she puts it in a bag.

The sequence repeats ad nauseam.

After 7-8 loops, I started giggling. Around loop 18, I couldn’t stop laughing. I turned my back to the principal, and noticed a huge queue had formed behind me. Nobody looked happy, which made me laugh even more.

I told the lady behind me: “Either there’s going to be a lot of children happy at school tomorrow, or this is the biggest pervert I’ve ever seen.” She started giggling and passed the info down the line. It took about 4 loops and averybody was laughing. Loud.

Back to the front, the principal was still moving at the speed of smell. He was even slower than before either because he heard my perv comment or he figured the queue was laughing at him. He was trying to burn holes through my skull with his eyes, and that was slowing him down, diverting some of his brain power from the task of passing little soap bubble thingies back and forth with the clerk.

When it was time to pay, he read the whole bill line by line, and questionned some items (he had 4-5 other items on his bill before his bubble things). He thought long and hard (30 seconds) about getting a Zellers credit card. He decided against it. He picked up 2 bags with his left hand and then tried to sign the slip with his right hand. He needed the clerk to hold the slip down for him. It took him a good minute to drop the bags, take his wallet out, put the credit card in, and then finally – FINALLY! – walk out of the store.

I hope this guy is a pervert, because quite frankly, it scares me more to think of him as a school principal.

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