The Booger Pact

It seems I’m getting older by the minute.

Recently I’ve started noticing that I have more and more hair inside my nose. I’ve only started to notice recently because nose hair grows by inches overnight – kinda like a canadian snowstorm – and now the hair sticks out of my nose. Well not by inches, but it’s clearly visible.

For about a week little nose hairs have been tickling me when I breathe in and out. Breathe in, scratch tip of nose, breathe out, scratch nose, breathe in, scratch edge of nostril, stop breathing… OK start breathing again. Repeat all day. What I really want to do is stick a finger in there and tear the little fuckers out. I’m always thinking that I have a giant booger hanging out but I can’t do anything about it because I’m on the bus, in a meeting, in front of customers and you obviously don’t stick you finger up your nose in font of people.

One night, I tried tweezing the heck out of them, and I just couldn’t do it. That frakin hurts! I even looked at those personnal nose groomer things, and they look scary. Not the kind of thing I want to stick up my nose. I don’t want to stick many things up my nose.

After a week of this, I’m comfortable enough to ignore the tickling most of the time. Its always when you start getting comfortable with something that the horror strikes. A mistake happened. A big mistake.

Around 9h52 today I went to the bathroom and discovered a giant booger hanging off my nose. How long has it been there? Who had seen this? I retraced my steps and mentally reviewed everyone I saw from 6h30 to 9h52. I just has spoken with my boss. Oh Cr*p. He didn’t say anything. There’s no way that wasn’t there 30 seconds ago. I went for coffee at Starbucks. With people. I took the frakin bus. I drove the kids to summer camp…

I need a new boogerpact.

What’s a boogerpact?

booger [boo g-er]: -noun.
Slang. a piece of dried mucus in or from the nose.

pact [pakt] –noun.
1. an agreement, covenant, or compact: We made a pact not to argue any more. 
2. an agreement or treaty between two or more nations: a pact between Germany and Italy. 

Boogerpact [boo g-er pakt]:
An agreement between two or more people that they will tell each other if one of them has a piece of dried mucus hanging from his/her nose.

I had one of these before. It was years ago when i was still in Sherbrooke, helping people find jobs by giving different workshops on how to write a resume, how to dress for an interview, discover your aptitudes, and so on. A coworker of ours, a female coworker, had spent the whole workshop in front of 18 year old guys with two buttons of her shirt undone, showing massive amount of bra and breast. The other facilitator didn’t say anything while the workshop was going, but had noticed. We had a big meeting and formed the booger pact. I think we named it the booger pact because… well there was 25 woman and two guys in the office, so the bra pact didn’t fly.

Who wants to be my boogerpact partner? It’s either that or I get a nose hair trimmer. Shudders.

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