Lazy Tuesday 50

Well, I’ve done it again. I find a good thing and then it’s swept from under my feet. Avitable decided to end his Lazy Sundays – with a bang I might add – so this is the last time I’ll steal his Lazy Sundays and answer them on my blog. Gotta find another schtick!

1. Have you ever pretended to be your girlfriend dad?

We don’t have those type of issues. Let me rephrase that. We’re not really into role playing. Wait that didn’t sound good. I’m into a different kind of role playing. Aaaaaargh!

2. Would you ever cut one of your friends on purpose?

Sure, if they asked nicely. And signed a release form.

3. Where’s the worst place you’ve ever gone without a weapon or Backup?

I’m Canadian, I go pretty much everywhere without a weapon.

4. Are you afraid of tollbooths?

Yes, there incredibly small and I could get wedged in them.

5. Have you ever worn OR scrubs?

There was one year I pretended to be a surgeon. Long story.

6. What do you do with a smell that won’t come out?

Leave it in and shut the door.

7. Don’t you hate when nobody will acknowledge you or talk to you?

Say what?

8. Can you fly a plane? Does anyone know?

No and no. That’s what scares me. I think I should start to get the word out. What if there’s a problem on a plane and they ask me to fly the damn thing?

9. Do you fight with your wife and in-laws non-stop during Christmas?

We stop for sleep and meal breaks. Har har. I never fight with my in-laws. I fight with my wife on occasion, not just over Christmas.

10. Have you ever burned something valuable that wasn’t yours?

Not that I can recall. Never been the type to play with fire much.

11. Has anybody ever shot you with a BB pistol?

As a matter of fact, my cousin shot me with a spring-loaded BB pistol when I was around 12. He almost took my eye out. We were playing fake poker, and had the old BB pistol out (we were pretending to be gangsters). One of us would pretend to win, the other one would grab the pistol and shoot the other. the sound of the barrel popping out would be the bullet, and the winner would fake death in the cheesiest possible way. Repeat ad nauseam.

We had been doing this for a good 20 minutes when it happened. I must explain that we were playing with that gun all the time since we were 6-7, and we never put pellets in the pistol. But on that day, when my cousin shot me, I fell on the floor and my cousin heard the pellet bouncing off the wall. There had been a pellet stuck in there for at least 6 years, and it came out and hit me about half a inch from my left eye.

12. Can you go to the bathroom if someone is listening?

At home, sure! Elsewhere, not so much. Although I must say taking the plane on a demi-regular basis does a lot to cure that little paranoia of mine. When you travel and you see a bathroom, use it, you never know when you’ll see another one.

13. Have you ever bought the very last hot dog from a hot dog stand?

I bought my last sausage from a particular sausage vendor. It was the very last I’ll get from that place. I ordered a Diet Pepsi and one polish sausage. The guy cooked my sausage, and when it was done opened his cooler so I could get my can of Diet Pepsi. Amongst the cans, ice and water were floating sausages. Yum! 

14. Would you kiss a toaster?

Only if I thought it could turn into a PlayStation 3 with a 62″ flat screen HD TV.

15. Do you like gladiator movies?

Only if by “gladiator” you mean “rare” and “movies” you mean “steak”.


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