Erection night in Canada

Oups, that’s Election night in Canada.

In honor of things staying the same for the next few years, here’s 101 big dick jokes – thanks Drew – where I replaced “My dick” with “Stephen Harper”.

  1. Stephen Harper is so big, there’s still snow on it in the summertime.
  2. Stephen Harper is so big, I went to The Viper Room and Stephen Harper got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman.
  3. Stephen Harper is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
  4. Stephen Harper is so big, it won’t return Spielberg’s calls.
  5. Stephen Harper is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.
  6. Stephen Harper has an elevator and a lobby.
  7. Stephen Harper has better credit than I do.
  8. Stephen Harper is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.
  9. Stephen Harper is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the Democratic Republic of Stephen Harper.
  10. Stephen Harper is so big, it has casters.
  11. Stephen Harper is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.
  12. Stephen Harper is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
  13. Stephen Harper is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. Stephen Harper.
  14. Stephen Harper is so big, it lives next door.
  15. Stephen Harper is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.
  16. Stephen Harper is so big, it votes.
  17. Stephen Harper is a better dresser than I am.
  18. Stephen Harper is so big, it has a three-picture deal.
  19. Stephen Harper is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
  20. Stephen Harper is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.
  21. Stephen Harper runs the 440 in 15 seconds
  22. Stephen Harper is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.
  23. No matter where I go, Stephen Harper always gets there first.
  24. Stephen Harper takes longer lunches than I do.
  25. Stephen Harper contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Democratic National Committee.
  26. Stephen Harper was once the ambassador to China.
  27. Stephen Harper is so big, it’s gone condo.
  28. Stephen Harper hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.
  29. Stephen Harper was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn’t want a bigger dick than he was on the team.
  30. Stephen Harper is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.
  31. It’s so big, when it rains the head of Stephen Harper doesn’t get wet.
  32. Stephen Harper is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn’t so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.
  33. Stephen Harper is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper.
  34. Stephen Harper is so big, it has feet.
  35. Stephen Harper is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.
  36. Stephen Harper is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.
  37. Stephen Harper is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.
  38. Stephen Harper is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.
  39. Stephen Harper is so big, it has investors.
  40. Stephen Harper is so big, it seats six.
  41. Stephen Harper is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring.
  42. Stephen Harper is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.
  43. Stephen Harper is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
  44. Stephen Harper is so big, it has an opening act.
  45. Stephen Harper is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.
  46. Stephen Harper is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.
  47. Stephen Harper is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.
  48. Stephen Harper is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.
  49. Stephen Harper is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.
  50. Stephen Harper is so big, it only plays arenas.
  51. If you cut Stephen Harper in two, you can tell how old I am.
  52. Stephen Harper was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurentis movie.
  53. Stephen Harper is so big, it needs an airplane warning light.
  54. Stephen Harper is so big, Trump owns it.
  55. Stephen Harper is so big that we’re all a part of it, and it’s all a part of us.
  56. Stephen Harper is so big, I can never sit in the front row.
  57. Stephen Harper is so big, that it has its own dick. And even Stephen Harper’s dick is bigger than your dick.
  58. Stephen Harper is so big, you can’t blow me without a ladder.
  59. Stephen Harper is so big, it only does one show a night.
  60. Stephen Harper is so big, you can ski down it.
  61. Stephen Harper is so big, it has an elbow.
  62. Stephen Harper is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.
  63. Stephen Harper is so big, it has a personal trainer.
  64. Stephen Harper is so big, that right now it’s in the other room fixing us drinks.
  65. Stephen Harper is so big, it has a retractable dome.
  66. Stephen Harper is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
  67. Stephen Harper is so big, there’s a sneaker named “Air Stephen Harper”
  68. Stephen Harper is so big, I’m it’s bitch.
  69. Stephen Harper is so big, it’s against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.
  70. Stephen Harper is so big, I could fuck a tuba.
  71. Stephen Harper is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
  72. Stephen Harper is so big, it has its own graviy
  73. NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of Stephen Harper.
  74. Stephen Harper is so big, it’s impossible to see all of it without a satellite.
  75. The inside of Stephen Harper contains billions and billions of stars.
  76. Stephen Harper is so big, it has a spine.
  77. Stephen Harper is so big, it has a basement.
  78. Stephen Harper is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and Stephen Harper.
  79. Stephen Harper is more muscular than I am.
  80. Stephen Harper is so big it has cable.
  81. Stephen Harper is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.
  82. Stephen Harper is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar.
  83. Stephen Harper is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.
  84. Stephen Harper is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee.
  85. Stephen Harper is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.
  86. Stephen Harper is so big, I can braid it.
  87. Stephen Harper is so big, that when it’s Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it’s Central Mountain Time at my balls.
  88. Stephen Harper is so big, I painted the foreskin red, white, and blue and used it as a flag.
  89. Stephen Harper is so big, I can sit on it.
  90. Stephen Harper is so big, it can chew gum.
  91. Stephen Harper is so big, it only tips with hundreds.
  92. Stephen Harper is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.
  93. Stephen Harper is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.
  94. Stephen Harper is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.
  95. Stephen Harper is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.
  96. Stephen Harper is so big, you’re standing on it.
  97. Stephen Harper is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.
  98. Stephen Harper is so big, it plays golf with the president.
  99. Stephen Harper is so big, it charges money for its autograph.
  100. Stephen Harper is so big, it has an agent. Stephen Harper’s people will call your people. Let’s have lunch with Stephen Harper.
  101. Stephen Harper is so big, it’s right behind you.
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