Some of my favorite things are Canadian

I’m Avitable. Mike is my doppelganger.

None of us is innocent.  Each of us has been at a party or a conference or naked in a hot tub and when the conversation quieted down, motioned for the group to huddle together, looked around carefully, and said, “Did you hear the joke about the Canadian who . . .”

Or maybe you were a part of that group, and you glanced around nervously to make sure that none of our Great White Northern neighbors were around before laughing uproariously at the latest jokes about maple syrup or saying “oot”.

Well, unlike the rest of you racist fucks, I don’t hide when I tell or hear Canadian jokes. I know I’m not racist, because some of my favorite things are Canadian!

  • Maple syrup
  • John Candy
  • Michael J Fox
  • Light bulbs
  • Duct tape
  • Superman
  • IMAX
  • LeSombre
  • Trivial Pursuit
  • Bacon
  • Cable TV
  • Air-conditioned cars
  • Keanu Reeves
  • Ryan Reynolds
  • Basketball
  • Color film
  • Liquid hand soap dispensers
  • Telephone
  • Ginger Ale
  • Tracer bullets
  • Air hockey
  • Zippers
  • Avril Lavigne
  • Sarah Chalke

See? Now you’ll know that the next time I tell that joke about Celine Dion, unlocked doors, no guns, and a Queen, it’s not racist, because some of my favorite things are Canadian.

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36 comments

  1. How uncanny! Some of my favorite things are also Canadian! Really, I’m just happy to be one of Avitable’s “things”. 😉

  2. Pssssshhhh you lie.

    You don’t like basketball.

    [Based upon your previously mentioned hatred for spectator sports. Wait. That was you right? Hmmmm…..well, either way, this is the comment you are stuck with. If saying you don’t like basketball is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.]

    Sheila (Charm School Reject) recently said Celebrate!

  3. Hellohaha, he’s awesome. I have a hetero man-crush on him.

    Dave, yeah, Keanu was good in the Matrix and made a good Constantine. I’m a fan.

    Amanda, that’s how I feel about Sarah Chalke (Dr. Reid on Scrubs)

    BPR, I was going to list all of the Canuck bloggers but decided just to list Mike since it’s his blog.

    Sarah, it doesn’t help that they have a brand actually called “Duck Tape”.

    Becky, I had no idea, either.

    Faiqa, what’s wrong with Keanu? He’s Neo!

    BE Earl, damn you and your Superman hate.

    Zanthera, I remember him as the goofy Jim Carrey wannabe on Two Guys. It’s nice to see that he’s grown into a decent actor.

    LeSombre, my gay plaything, that is.

    Ed, I make up all of my Canadian jokes on the spot.

    Nat, she’s just gotten weirder and weirder over the last few years.

    Wayne, what?

    Shiny, I only like old Shatner. Young Shatner sucked.

    NYCWD, Superman rules and Batman drools!

    Muskrat, I only listed Mike – I have a lot of Canadian bloggers who are favorites, but I figured that would be too long of a list.

    Finn, banana hanger? Is that like a banana hammock?

    Sheila, that’s the only sport that I would go watch in an arena, and I enjoy shooting hoops sometimes. So there!

    Sybil, why does everyone hate The One?

    Dragon, all of you already know of my unconditional love.

    Hilly, me too. It was very surprising.

    Chamblee, they drive too fucking slow!

    Turnbaby, well, she is probably my top favorite Canadian thing, right after Michael J Fox.

    Karen, I didn’t forget – I just had to keep the list short!

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