Month: February 2009

It’s all about LovelyWife

This is floating around. So while I’m driving 4 hours to Sherbrooke, enjoy all kinds of stuff about LovelyWife.

1. She’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

Big Bang Theory, How I met your mother, Les Parents, House, Bones, Heroes, Amazing Race, Life, Life on Mars, 24, Lost, Les Invincibles, My Life on the D-List, My name is Earl, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, American Idol, Canadian Idol, ER, Numb3rs, Dollhouse, Flashpoint, Criminal Minds, Survivor, Samantha Who, Scrubs, The Office, Tout le Monde en Parle, L’épicerie, Infoman, La soirée du hockey, Oscars, Emmys, Sugar, 30 minute meals, Holmes on Homes, Jon & Kate plus 8, Little People – Big World,   Trading spaces, What not to wear, Prison Break, In plain Sight, My own worst Ennemy, The Choir, Fringe, The Mentalist, Lie to me, Knight Rider, Hell’s Kitchen, Mythbusters, Battlestar Galactica.

And on Tuesday…

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad?

The one I’m not having, so we can share.

3. What’s one food she doesn’t like?

All beef hot-dogs. She prefers the unidentified stuff.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does she order?

Amaretto Sour and some duck confit.

5. Where did she go to high school?

Collège Mont Notre Dame

6. What size shoe does she wear?

Seven

7. If she was to collect anything, what would it be?

Shoes.

8. What is her favorite type of sandwich?!

Ice cream sandwich.

9. What would this person eat every day if she could?

Ice cream.

10. What is his favorite cereal?

Shredded Wheat with Strawberries.

11. What would she never wear?

Drapes. Oh wait, she’s done that already. PJ’s not made of wool.

12. What is her favorite sports team?

Montreal Canadiens.

13. Who did she vote for?

Me! (Hell if I know)

14. Who is her best friend?

Josée the cat lady.

15. What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn’t do?

Post bad pictures of her.

16. What is her heritage?

French Canadian.

17. You bake her a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?

A “I wonder if [insert other kind] would’ve been better” cake.

18. Did she play sports in high school?

Only the required P.E. stuff.

19. What could she spend hours doing?

Watching TV, obviously. Work is a close second.

20. What is one unique talent she has?

She can bend her thumbs backwards.

Ask Canadia’s Blogger (1)

incanada

Once again For the first time ever, it’s time for your favorite Internet column, Ask Canadia’s Blogger. Every week Once in a while, I’ll pick a few interesting questions asked by my loyal readers and provide super intelligent and relevant answers.

I’ll start things with a bang, this edition of ACB is the extra very special JANELLE edition.

Janelle was nice enough to be a big part of the inspiration and motivation behind ACB, and it would be in very bad taste to not make the first edition of ACB the Janelle Edition (like she strongly suggested). All questions have been asked by Janelle. I hope this will not make Janelle delete me from her Twitter. She did tell me that  “If you ever say my name again, I’m totally deleting you. again” – Janelle.

So here we go.

1) In Canada is “blackberry” another word for iPhone?

Oh no, not at all. In fact, both words don’t even share a common letter. We do have an alternate name for iPhones here. We call then Dave2Phone. Dave2 (from Blogography, maybe you heard of him?) is in all canadian Apple commercials. We also use Blackberry to describe something else, but not an iPhone.

2) Do they have Valentine’s Day in Canada?

Of course! In fact, VD, while it initially originated in the States, quickly made it’s way through Canada and the rest of the world. As you know, VD is contagious or catching. It spreads from person to person by relations or by other close physical contacts- such as kissing- which provide the necessary conditions for the transmission. Indirect transmission of the infection is possible but not very common. It is not spread from toilet seats, towels or door-knobs. So it’s totally your fault if we have VD in Canada.

On a more serious note, Canadians don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day as much as the March 14th holiday. It’s in 15 days people! Mark you calendars and warm-up your barbecues.

3) Do they have Mondays in Canada?

We have cases of them. We ship them all internationally. That’s why you sometime hear people say “I have a case of the Mondays”. Also, the English names of days of the week are from Canada, not from the Norse gods or all that other nonsense (but see the Camel question at the bottom of this post). Initially, the days were named Sund, Mond, Tuesd, Wednesd, Thrusd, Frid and Saturd.

4) Do they “do funny” in Canada?

Luckily for me, we’d do anything human that has a pulse and can generate some heat during the winter (aka September to mid-July), including funny people. It’s freaking cold up here you know.

5) Do they have ‘Gilligan’s Island’ in Canada?

gisland

Gilligan’s Island possible locations. None of them are in Canada little buddy.

6) Do you have Cactus in Canada?

Honestly, I didn’t know. A quick search on canada411.ca revealed that there are no Cactus in Canada. You do however have at least one in the States. And that clip from 1967 seems to indicate that the whole World is a cactus.

And it seems to be confirmed again in 1993.

I’m confused.

7) Do you have Camels in Canada?

Of course we have camels in Canada. I can understand the question, since Canada comes from the old Portuguese Camelo + Nada, which translates to “No Camel” (Delmer would be so proud of me). In fact, the origins of the Camel and Canada are tightly interwoven. You probably already know that “Canada” was discovered by Leif Ericsson (also spelled Eriksson – no relation to Karl, otherwise it’d be Kanada) the Lucky (980?-1020?) was a Viking (Norse) explorer who was possibly the first European to sail to North America. Leif took a break from his acting career and sailed north from the southern tip of Greenland, then went south along the coast of Baffin Island down to Labrador, and then landed in what is now called Newfoundland (which he called Vinland). Ericsson sailed around the year 1000, and brought with him the days of the week. Later on, Giovanni Caboto, an Italian explorer speaking Portuguese, sailed to Canada bringing the first camels with him – woman were not allowed on boats at the time – kicked the Vikings asses by having his troubadour sing (badly) to them while they jumped to their death trying to get off le Rocher Percé as fast as possible. The whole thing was later adapted by Gosciny and Uderzo in one controversial graphic novel and an animated feature film.

Another reason people think that we don’t have camels in Canada is that they because of the weather Canadian Camels don’t grow as tall as their Arabian or Asian cousins. The tallest Canadian Camel was measured just under 22 centimeters (that’s just about 8.5 inches my Imperial friends), so they’re easily mistaken for small dogs or baby gerbils. It was reported that this tall camel tasted as good as the smaller ones.


 

That concludes the first ever Ask Canadia’s Blogger – the Janelle edition. If you want, leave questions for a future edition in the comments. If you don’t it’s no biggie, I can always make some stuff up.

40 questions

I’m tiiiiiiiiiired. I do a meme. I go to bed. I rock.

1. My uncle once: pretended his house was on fire for an April Fool’s joke.

2. Never in my life: have I won a triathlon.

3. When I was five: I knew how to read and write.

4. High School was: the best twelve years of my life.

5. I will never forget: my mom’s red hair and Ronald McDonald haircut.

6. I once met: a deadine.

7. There’s this girl I know: who will think at least five of these are about her.

8. Once, at a bar: I fought some bikers.

9. By noon I’m usually: hungry like the wolf.

10. Last night: I slept in the living room.

11. If I only had: taken the blue pill.

12. Next time I go to church: I’ll take a picture.

13. Terry Schiavo: is proof that this meme is old.

14. What worries me most: Life. The TV show, I think it’s going to be cancelled.

15. When I turn my head left, I see: the living room turning 90 degrees clockwise.

16. When I turn my head right, I see: the living room turning 90 degrees counter-clockwise.

17. You know I’m lying when: I say I’m fine.

18. What I miss most about the eighties: neon laces.

19. If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: immortal.

20. By this time next year: I’ll be a year older.

21. A better name for me would be: works-with-idiots.

22. I have a hard time understanding: Japanese.

23. If I ever go back to school I’ll: be working.

24. You know I like you if: I initiate conversations with you.

25. If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: me.

26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: never had lunch with me.

27. Take my advice: ignore all parenting advice.

28. My ideal breakfast is: cooked by someone else.

29. A song I love, but do not have is: The Romantics – Talking in your sleep.

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you bring me as a guide.

31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are all present in my current town.

32. Why won’t people: think?

33. If you spend the night at my house: you better like red wine, Scotch and long conversations.

34. I’d stop my wedding for: nothing.

35. The world could do without: dumbasses.

36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: the ass of a cockroach.

37. My favorite blonde is: Heineken.

38. Paper clips are more useful than: last year’s take out menu.

39. If I do anything well, it’s: added to my regular duties.

40. And by the way: you rule.

Hey Lookadat! A post!

They finally had the Internet going in my new office. 

Well, half of the Internet really. My second computer is not on the network at this point. Apparently, the technicians who put the wires in had a little misadventure with the wires. The wire is blue in my office, and gray at the switch in the basement. Which probably means someone has a gray wire in their office and it’s connected to my second computer.

Our lab is getting slowly rebuilt, but since they forgot to order our computer holders, everything is “temporarily wired”. Also, electricity has to reach to reach the computers and monitors too. 😉 

All that moving and unpacking is draining me. I went to bed at 8:30 last night. I can’t remember last time that happened. 

All of these things are part of the fun stuff of moving your office to a new building. When I say new building, I mean new to us, as this building is scheduled for demolition in two and a half years. 

Yes, that means we’ll go through this again in a couple of years. Joy.

It’s also why you’re getting a noon post instead of a midnight post. 😉

3.14159265358979323846…

Often people ask me how I can come up with stuff to blog about on every single day. 

Well, truth be told, I don’t blog about stuff every day. Sometimes I just post a picture, do a meme, or string a bunch of my Tweets together to create somewhat of a post.

Then there are events like Saturday night’s dinner who are – let’s say – a great source of inspiration.

My FMIL apple pie is the best pie there is

My Favorite Mother In Law is a really good cook. She makes the best cheesecake ever. When she comes over, I have but to buy the needed ingredients and presto! a delicious cheesecake appears. 😉 She also bakes delicious chicken pot pie, and hers it the only chicken pot pie I will eat. But the apple pie holds a special place in my heart, and stomach.

LovelyWife knows a lot about Pi

LovelyWife is probably the smartest person you’ll ever meet. But – yes I know I should probably stop right there, but you know me – she is BOOK SMART. She’ll forget to lock doors, to recharge her cell, keys, and so on. She talks to herlsef all the time. She has the absent-minded professor thing down pat.

Those two things don’t mix well

So on Saturday night, my wife took a delicious frozen apple pie that my FMIL baked while I was in Africa and put it in the oven. She set the oven too low and the timer too short, and had to prolong the reheat time twice. The whole family was salivating in anticipation. So after an hour of delicious flaky crust smell filling the house, we were finally ready to have a big nice piece of pie with delicious vanilla ice cream.

Until LovelyWife cut the pie and started laughing. 

It was chicken pot pie.

Now flashback an hour sooner

Me: So what’s in the oven?

LW: Apple pie that my mom baked

Me: I thought she made chicken pot pie?

LW: Naaaaah.

Me: You know I’ll blog about this, right?