Here are some tips on how to sound smarter than you are during your day off.
Say: I took a shower and shaved
Not: I took a shower at 13:30, and shaved “down there”.
Say: I drove the kids to school.
Not: I drove the kids to school in my underwear.
Say: I had a nice cheese panini sandwich for breakfast.
Not: I had a grilled cheese.
Say: I also had an espresso.
Not: I also had the 3 day old coffee – cold (because we don’t have a microwave).
Say: and some cranberry juice.
Not: and Vodka with some cranberry juice in it for the color.
Say: I then cleaned the whole house
Not: I then pushed stuff off the couch so I could have my grilled cheese.
Say: I spent the whole day reading & listening to music
Not: I spent the whole day reading blogs, chatting with Sheila while listening to BobFM.
Say: I had some chicken with some greens for lunch.
Not: I ordered chicken wings for lunch. It came with celery that I threw away.
Say: I reflected on life’s issues, and possibly found the solution to a few of the troubles I’m having.
Not: I took the longest crap ever, but forgot to bring a book.
Say: I found a way to be 10% more productive even on my days off.
Not: I discovered the wireless works well in the bathroom.
Say: I watched a classic television program.
Not: The A-Team was on at some point.
Say: All and all, it was a wonderful relaxing day.