I’m tiiiiiiiiiired. I do a meme. I go to bed. I rock.
1. My uncle once: pretended his house was on fire for an April Fool’s joke.
2. Never in my life: have I won a triathlon.
3. When I was five: I knew how to read and write.
4. High School was: the best twelve years of my life.
5. I will never forget: my mom’s red hair and Ronald McDonald haircut.
6. I once met: a deadine.
7. There’s this girl I know: who will think at least five of these are about her.
8. Once, at a bar: I fought some bikers.
9. By noon I’m usually: hungry like the wolf.
10. Last night: I slept in the living room.
11. If I only had: taken the blue pill.
12. Next time I go to church: I’ll take a picture.
13. Terry Schiavo: is proof that this meme is old.
14. What worries me most: Life. The TV show, I think it’s going to be cancelled.
15. When I turn my head left, I see: the living room turning 90 degrees clockwise.
16. When I turn my head right, I see: the living room turning 90 degrees counter-clockwise.
17. You know I’m lying when: I say I’m fine.
18. What I miss most about the eighties: neon laces.
19. If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: immortal.
20. By this time next year: I’ll be a year older.
21. A better name for me would be: works-with-idiots.
22. I have a hard time understanding: Japanese.
23. If I ever go back to school I’ll: be working.
24. You know I like you if: I initiate conversations with you.
25. If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: me.
26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: never had lunch with me.
27. Take my advice: ignore all parenting advice.
28. My ideal breakfast is: cooked by someone else.
29. A song I love, but do not have is: The Romantics – Talking in your sleep.
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you bring me as a guide.
31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: are all present in my current town.
32. Why won’t people: think?
33. If you spend the night at my house: you better like red wine, Scotch and long conversations.
34. I’d stop my wedding for: nothing.
35. The world could do without: dumbasses.
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: the ass of a cockroach.
37. My favorite blonde is: Heineken.
38. Paper clips are more useful than: last year’s take out menu.
39. If I do anything well, it’s: added to my regular duties.
40. And by the way: you rule.