There’s this joke in French. It goes like this:
Je m’entraîne pour avoir un corps d’athlète. J’ai déjà commencé par avoir le pied d’athlète.
It translates something like this:
I’m training to get an athlete body. I already started with athlete’s foot.
Not that funny I know.
In my case I would trade my ripped left calf muscle for athlete’s foot.
According to Doctor Google, I tore my Plantaris tendon, pretty much right where you could draw a line between the two Soleus muscles lines in that graphic.
The result is intense pain, kinda like your calf is in a constant state of cramping. You know the feeling some people experience in the middle of the night when they wake up rolling on the floor clutching their calf and crying? Well, I have that exact pain all the time.
Doctor Google told me that I should compress, ice and elevate the leg. Doctor Google also said that Tylenol or something similar to Tylenol would help with the pain.
On my way back from work yesterday, I bought two massive Tylenol buckets – one “Extra Strength” and one “Muscle Aches & Body Pain” – and one giant elastic bandage similar to this one:
Of course, within minutes of putting the bandage on, one of the fasteners broke. I also took 2 pills and elevated the leg.
Well, Doctor Google was right. I feel much better today. I won’t be running anytime soon, but at least I’m not whimpering and rolling around on the floor in my office anymore.
Doctor Google: The only true universal health care.