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48 Questions About Me – An old school meme.

Stolen from Karl.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Of course. Considering that I was born in the 70s, and according to this website there had been around 100,000,000,000 born on Earth before I was I say it’s a safe bet to assume that I was named after other people.

So that’s how you want to play this meme, huh?

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 

I cry all the time, I’m an emotional wreck. Or you know, as I’d like to say: I have a very strong connexion to my emotions. Seriously though, I stopped watching Parenthood because I ran out of tissues.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Yes! I have this really weird handwriting that is halfway between block letters and cursive. It’s not constant at all and sometimes I have a hard time reading what I write. Still, I love my handwriting!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Oh dear. Having had more than my share of lunch meat when I was a kid, I hate most of them. I still like the occasional Black Forest Ham, but most of the time I stay away from lunch meat.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Yes.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Maybe. On one hand, being friends with me is awesome, but on the other hand I can be quite the asshole sometimes.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Noooooo, I never use sarcasm. Honestly, I try to use less sarcasm in my daily life but it’s a losing battle. Once you’re tagged as “that guy who uses sarcasm all the time” it’s really hard to become something else, as people tend to believe you are sarcastic even when you are not. Like now, you’re not sure if this answer is serious, and even less now that I swear I’m serious.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes, and there’s a really funny story about this that I may share with you if you get me drunk enough.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

I wouldn’t. Add my fear of heights with with all the youtube videos of people injuring/killing themselves while bungee jumping, sprinkle this with the fact that I weigh as much as a large gorilla carrying a baby elephant and you can understand why I’ll never bungee jump.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Oat. I don’t eat breakfast cereal because I hate drinking milk, but I’ll have oat cookies, oat cake, oat muffins, etc. Whan I was just a kid, I loved Fruit Loops (hence why I won’t bungee jump) and later migrated to Shredded Wheat.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

It depends on the shoes. I have some dress shoes that I absolutely have to untie when I take off, and I have other shoes – boots really, not shoes – that are loosely tied all the time so I can slip them on and off. Every new pair of shoes / running shoes I get goes through a phase when I untie them before I take them off. Depending on the shoes, this period lasts anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of years. I do however always untie my shoes before putting them on, even when I take them off without untying them. I’m pretty sure you didn’t expect to learn that much about my shoe-tying habits.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

I think I’m a lot weaker than I used to be, both physically and mentally. I used to bench press and squat a lot of weight in my college days, and I stopped training a long time ago, so I’m not sure if I could I can’t lift a fridge anymore, and I dread hearing anyone say: “Grab this side please”. Mentally, I’m more polarized than I used to be, hence all the crying at one end of the spectrum, and my tendency to adopt a hard line much quicker with assholes at the other.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Free ice cream. Seriously, I’m a vanilla guy and I like vanilla ice cream. Ever so often I’ll cheat on vanilla with dulce de leche, but if I had to be stuck on a deserted island with only one flavour of ice  cream – and a fridge – for the rest of my days, it would have to be vanilla. What a boring answer…

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

The cliché here is to answer “their eyes”, but the honest answer it “their difference”. The first thing I’ll notice about you is how you are different from me, and whether that’s a good or bad thing, or if that has absolutely no bearing with what we are about to experience together. Bold statement: I really enjoy hanging out with people that are different, I like it much better than hanging out with people who have a lot of things in common with me.

15. RED OR PINK?

I had my pink phase when I was around 15, and looking around my desk, I see a red iPad cover, some red folders and reddish paint on the wall. Also, I wanted a red car. So let’s go with red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

I’m getting old. I’m at the point in my life when I can safely say that there’s a good chance that I have lived longer than I have left to live – which would have me dead at 84 – and that makes me sad. I’m looking at all the stuff I have to do before I can be okay with dying, and I really need to get to it. Instead I sit here answering 48 questions. Nice priorities!

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

I don’t miss people. I’m sure you heard the expression “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” before. That’s exactly what I’m doing, every day. I’m not one to share sappy semi-philosophical quotes written on a blurry artsy picture on Facebook, but this one resonates with me.

18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?

I’m not very good at open-heart surgery. I have a hard time finding volunteers to practice my technique, which explains why I’m not really good at it.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

I am not wearing shoes right now, and all the shoes I own are either brown, black, gray or white. I need to get a red or orange pair of shoes, just to be able to have a nicer answer to these kind of questions. Now, where would one find a nice colourful pair of shoes?

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Peanut butter toast.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

Galaxy remember the 80s. It’s playing “Blame it on the Rain” from Milli Vanilli right now. Here, have a free earworm.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

I would be a black crayon, used mostly to outline things.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Coffee, a peaty whisky, my wife’s hair.

24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?

I’m completely apolitical, I have no interest in politics. I still think we’re governed by idiots, and I don’t see this changing in the near future. Since there’s no point in thinking about this or arguing about political views, I don’t.

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?

If forced to chose, beach house. There’s something about the sound of the ocean that really makes me happy. If I had my way, it would be a tiny apartment in a big city.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? 

Hockey. However, I really enjoy watching football and golf – yes, golf.

27 . HAIR COLOR?

Black? Can you believe I was blonde when I was a kid?

28. EYE COLOR?

Wait a minute is this my driver’s licence? If you know me you probably already know my hair color. It’s not that interesting, really.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

Nope.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Italian. Pasta & Pizza. I could live on homemade pasta & pizza forever.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Endings. They don’t have to be happy, but they have to happen. There’s nothing I hate more than a movie with a botched ending.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Silver Lining Playbook. Speaking of movies that don’t really end…

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black, do you even have to ask?

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

I’m a Fall person, if it was fall a year long i’d be the happiest person alive. The crisp air, the cool weather, the leaves changing color…

35. FAVORITE DESSERT?

That’s a tough one. If I could only have one kind of dessert for the rest of my life, I would probably go with crème brûlée.

36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

I need to do both of those things, but if I had the choice I’d most likely go for the strength training first, and i can’t run very well since the accident.

37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

To watch TV shows / movies: Television. To mindlessly waste some time: Television. To get news: Computer.

38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

I am not reading any book at this moment. I need to change this ASAP.

39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

A picture of Robin Sparkles. Seriously, they were not kidding when they said this meme was old school. At least they got the “old” part right.

40. FAVORITE SOUND?

The sappiest answer ever: The sound of my LovelyWife and Kids laughing.

41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?

Anything from the 80s, a capella stuff, everything from the Barenaked Ladies.

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

Dakar, Sénégal: 3971 miles / 6390.71 km.

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

I used to be able to tell you where every bathroom was in every McDonald’s of the World. Now that I’ve stopped going there about nine years ago I’m losing my touch.

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Nice try, hacker trying to get the answers to my on-line banking stuff!

45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

I live in a world of make-believe. Seriously, I’m mostly living here (points to head) but I should be living here (points to heart) more.

46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

It’s kinda pink. Damn, do I need to change my answer to question 15?

47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

My awesome car is an awesome silver color. This is the second time I have a “normal” colour on my car. I had a lime green car, a gold car and an orange SUV. The other boring color car I had was beige.

48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?

Sure, but some of them were really weird or kinda pointless. Do you really want to know my eye color, what I last ate and where I live? Wouldn’t you rather ask me if the last thing I killed was a squirrel or a hobo, what’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever eaten or what would be my last meal if I was to be executed, in how many countries I’m on the most wanted list and in how many movies I’ve starred in?

Hacked

Well, it finally happened. After five years and over a thousand posts, somebody managed to hack my blog. Congrats!

Luckily, I have exported the contents of my blog and managed to import it – after a little bit of messing around, the XML file was 16Mb and I couldn’t upload anything bigger than 12Mb. All the posts are back online. I’ve lost my theme but that’s a minor annoyance, it’s somewhere on a backup drive I’m sure and I can always recreate it. However, I forgot that exporting content doesn’t reimport the images unless the original blog is still up when you do the import. Since the blog was gone, it means no media followed the import.

If anyone has any brilliant ideas on how to import 250Mb of images and link them to 1,005 posts, I’m all ears… I’ll tackle this after a little bit of sleep though.

Edit: Of course, I couldn’t really sleep while the pictures were not back on-line. Stupid brain. Now sleep.

Introspection

I think about death often.

I lie awake at night thinking what it would be like once I’m gone. I have no illusions about it: the World managed to do fine for millions (billions?) of years before I got here, I’m sure it’ll be fine once I’m no more. It’s hard to imagine the nothingness that will come after. I almost can feel it – that great big emptiness, that feeling of vertigo I get when I stand too close to the edge of a cliff, that floating feeling…

Then I think about my LovelyWife and my kids, how they are going to do once I’m gone. A  few years ago, it would make me freak out and have a panic attack. So I worked on that. I work hard so they are well equipped to deal with the inevitable. It’s an ongoing project, but I’m almost done.

Don’t worry, I’m not ready to die.

Well. I mean I don’t want to die, but I know it’s going to happen and that there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only do so much to plan for it and prepare others for it. In that very specific sense, I think I’m ready.

Where am I going with this? Am I creeping you out?

I don’t know. My thoughts are all over the place right now, I haven’t blogged in ages, I miss all of you people and wish I could get back into it. I miss the interactions we had.

I post stuff on Facebook and spend hours thinking about the replies I get, especially when they are “challenging”.

Why are you so negative? I was para-asked recently when I commented that we were doomed as a species after watching two people try to parallel park in my street. That made me sit down and think about myself. Why am I so negative? Am I really so negative? Of course if I was constantly spewing negative stuff on Facebook I’d need to stop that. But then would I call other people on their negative stuff of would that be negative in itself? Does it matter if what I thought was a brilliant social commentary on driving techniques was perceived as something negative? Why do I even bother with this shit?

I recently was yelled at (figuratively) because I tried helping someone who was posting chain letters and urban legends over and over on their timeline. I was honestly trying to help. Again, why bother? I unfriended that person and I even blogged about it. Look at me linking to my own content like a Pro Blogger.

Then I got some flak for having unfriended that person from a friend. So that caused another round of introspective shit.

I tweet insane things on Twitter (and sometimes on Facebook, but I won’t apologize for using hashtags on there) and some people think I’m really mean. Others think I’m fairly smart. All of that from a profile that says: “I always was the class clown – I just found a bigger class”.

I blog less because I feel blogging is somewhat more serious than Tweeting and Facebooking, and by that I mean if I Tweet “What the fuck am I doing? #Sigh” I can then move on and do something else. If I blog “What the fuck am I doing? #Sigh” it sounds like I’m really in trouble. I know, that doesn’t make sense.

My point is there is more and more stuff that I don’t say on Facebook and Twitter. But the stuff I keep for myself on these platforms is nothing compared to all the stuff I don’t say here.

I don’t blog much about work anymore. For one, it won’t change anything and it’ll probably end up getting me fired. Work is not perfect, but it’s also not that bad. Unfortunately I end up blogging about the bad stuff more often than the good stuff, so it sounds like I’m miserable at my work. I am not. But if I was to publish every single thing I thought about publishing that was about work, you’d think I was working in the worst job ever. Which I am not.

I don’t blog much about my family life anymore. Again, what I think is funny may sound like my family are assholes, which they are not. I have the best family anybody can ever dream, even if they are not perfect. I would not change them for the World. At the same time, blogging about what I had for lunch is not really doing it for me. Much funnier to blog about how LovelyWife puts things in the fridge to drive me nuts, much more therapeutic to talk about how I’m sick of getting anonymous phone calls from CutieDaughter’s “friends”, much more liberating to vent about the kid who bullied AudaciousSon.

I don’t blog about the fallout I had with people who used to be dear friends of mine. It would just sound like I’m bitching anyways.

Again, some of you may think: “Why so negative?”. As a result, I don’t Tweet this, I don’t Facebook that, I don’t blog a lot of things.

Alas. Like my own mortality, I see my blog mortality way too clearly. I lie awake at night thinking what it would be like once this blog is gone. I have no illusions about it: the Blogosphere managed to do fine for many years before I got here, I’m sure it’ll be fine once I’m no more. It’s hard to imagine the nothingness that will come after. I almost can feel it – that great big emptiness, that feeling of vertigo I get when I stand too close to the edge of a cliff, that floating feeling…

I don’t want this blog to die just yet, but I know it’s going to happen and that there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only do so much to plan for it and prepare others for it. In that very specific sense, I think I’m ready.