Meme

48 Questions About Me – An old school meme.

Stolen from Karl.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Of course. Considering that I was born in the 70s, and according to this website there had been around 100,000,000,000 born on Earth before I was I say it’s a safe bet to assume that I was named after other people.

So that’s how you want to play this meme, huh?

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 

I cry all the time, I’m an emotional wreck. Or you know, as I’d like to say: I have a very strong connexion to my emotions. Seriously though, I stopped watching Parenthood because I ran out of tissues.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Yes! I have this really weird handwriting that is halfway between block letters and cursive. It’s not constant at all and sometimes I have a hard time reading what I write. Still, I love my handwriting!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Oh dear. Having had more than my share of lunch meat when I was a kid, I hate most of them. I still like the occasional Black Forest Ham, but most of the time I stay away from lunch meat.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Yes.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Maybe. On one hand, being friends with me is awesome, but on the other hand I can be quite the asshole sometimes.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Noooooo, I never use sarcasm. Honestly, I try to use less sarcasm in my daily life but it’s a losing battle. Once you’re tagged as “that guy who uses sarcasm all the time” it’s really hard to become something else, as people tend to believe you are sarcastic even when you are not. Like now, you’re not sure if this answer is serious, and even less now that I swear I’m serious.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes, and there’s a really funny story about this that I may share with you if you get me drunk enough.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

I wouldn’t. Add my fear of heights with with all the youtube videos of people injuring/killing themselves while bungee jumping, sprinkle this with the fact that I weigh as much as a large gorilla carrying a baby elephant and you can understand why I’ll never bungee jump.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Oat. I don’t eat breakfast cereal because I hate drinking milk, but I’ll have oat cookies, oat cake, oat muffins, etc. Whan I was just a kid, I loved Fruit Loops (hence why I won’t bungee jump) and later migrated to Shredded Wheat.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

It depends on the shoes. I have some dress shoes that I absolutely have to untie when I take off, and I have other shoes – boots really, not shoes – that are loosely tied all the time so I can slip them on and off. Every new pair of shoes / running shoes I get goes through a phase when I untie them before I take them off. Depending on the shoes, this period lasts anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of years. I do however always untie my shoes before putting them on, even when I take them off without untying them. I’m pretty sure you didn’t expect to learn that much about my shoe-tying habits.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

I think I’m a lot weaker than I used to be, both physically and mentally. I used to bench press and squat a lot of weight in my college days, and I stopped training a long time ago, so I’m not sure if I could I can’t lift a fridge anymore, and I dread hearing anyone say: “Grab this side please”. Mentally, I’m more polarized than I used to be, hence all the crying at one end of the spectrum, and my tendency to adopt a hard line much quicker with assholes at the other.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Free ice cream. Seriously, I’m a vanilla guy and I like vanilla ice cream. Ever so often I’ll cheat on vanilla with dulce de leche, but if I had to be stuck on a deserted island with only one flavour of ice  cream – and a fridge – for the rest of my days, it would have to be vanilla. What a boring answer…

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

The cliché here is to answer “their eyes”, but the honest answer it “their difference”. The first thing I’ll notice about you is how you are different from me, and whether that’s a good or bad thing, or if that has absolutely no bearing with what we are about to experience together. Bold statement: I really enjoy hanging out with people that are different, I like it much better than hanging out with people who have a lot of things in common with me.

15. RED OR PINK?

I had my pink phase when I was around 15, and looking around my desk, I see a red iPad cover, some red folders and reddish paint on the wall. Also, I wanted a red car. So let’s go with red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

I’m getting old. I’m at the point in my life when I can safely say that there’s a good chance that I have lived longer than I have left to live – which would have me dead at 84 – and that makes me sad. I’m looking at all the stuff I have to do before I can be okay with dying, and I really need to get to it. Instead I sit here answering 48 questions. Nice priorities!

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

I don’t miss people. I’m sure you heard the expression “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” before. That’s exactly what I’m doing, every day. I’m not one to share sappy semi-philosophical quotes written on a blurry artsy picture on Facebook, but this one resonates with me.

18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?

I’m not very good at open-heart surgery. I have a hard time finding volunteers to practice my technique, which explains why I’m not really good at it.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

I am not wearing shoes right now, and all the shoes I own are either brown, black, gray or white. I need to get a red or orange pair of shoes, just to be able to have a nicer answer to these kind of questions. Now, where would one find a nice colourful pair of shoes?

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Peanut butter toast.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

Galaxy remember the 80s. It’s playing “Blame it on the Rain” from Milli Vanilli right now. Here, have a free earworm.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

I would be a black crayon, used mostly to outline things.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Coffee, a peaty whisky, my wife’s hair.

24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?

I’m completely apolitical, I have no interest in politics. I still think we’re governed by idiots, and I don’t see this changing in the near future. Since there’s no point in thinking about this or arguing about political views, I don’t.

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?

If forced to chose, beach house. There’s something about the sound of the ocean that really makes me happy. If I had my way, it would be a tiny apartment in a big city.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? 

Hockey. However, I really enjoy watching football and golf – yes, golf.

27 . HAIR COLOR?

Black? Can you believe I was blonde when I was a kid?

28. EYE COLOR?

Wait a minute is this my driver’s licence? If you know me you probably already know my hair color. It’s not that interesting, really.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

Nope.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Italian. Pasta & Pizza. I could live on homemade pasta & pizza forever.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Endings. They don’t have to be happy, but they have to happen. There’s nothing I hate more than a movie with a botched ending.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Silver Lining Playbook. Speaking of movies that don’t really end…

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black, do you even have to ask?

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

I’m a Fall person, if it was fall a year long i’d be the happiest person alive. The crisp air, the cool weather, the leaves changing color…

35. FAVORITE DESSERT?

That’s a tough one. If I could only have one kind of dessert for the rest of my life, I would probably go with crème brûlée.

36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

I need to do both of those things, but if I had the choice I’d most likely go for the strength training first, and i can’t run very well since the accident.

37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

To watch TV shows / movies: Television. To mindlessly waste some time: Television. To get news: Computer.

38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

I am not reading any book at this moment. I need to change this ASAP.

39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

A picture of Robin Sparkles. Seriously, they were not kidding when they said this meme was old school. At least they got the “old” part right.

40. FAVORITE SOUND?

The sappiest answer ever: The sound of my LovelyWife and Kids laughing.

41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?

Anything from the 80s, a capella stuff, everything from the Barenaked Ladies.

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

Dakar, Sénégal: 3971 miles / 6390.71 km.

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

I used to be able to tell you where every bathroom was in every McDonald’s of the World. Now that I’ve stopped going there about nine years ago I’m losing my touch.

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Nice try, hacker trying to get the answers to my on-line banking stuff!

45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

I live in a world of make-believe. Seriously, I’m mostly living here (points to head) but I should be living here (points to heart) more.

46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

It’s kinda pink. Damn, do I need to change my answer to question 15?

47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

My awesome car is an awesome silver color. This is the second time I have a “normal” colour on my car. I had a lime green car, a gold car and an orange SUV. The other boring color car I had was beige.

48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?

Sure, but some of them were really weird or kinda pointless. Do you really want to know my eye color, what I last ate and where I live? Wouldn’t you rather ask me if the last thing I killed was a squirrel or a hobo, what’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever eaten or what would be my last meal if I was to be executed, in how many countries I’m on the most wanted list and in how many movies I’ve starred in?

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Memes

If you’re my friend on Facebook – and if you’re not, what’s wrong with you? – you’re already aware that I posted this on Tuesday:

And it did. So today I present to you a selection of not necessarily the best ones I’ve used, but of the ones I can semi-safely publish here. 😉 Enjoy. I know I did.

Of course, this all started with the first strange email I got. It was an email that just said: “What?” I thought this was appropriate.

Classic Jules.

I was asked something along the lines of: “Are those people serious?”.

I thought this was an appropriate reply. 

This is in reply to one email I was not supposed to get but it somehow escaped my spam filter. The email started with “Let me have the pleasure to introduce you to our services”, so I replied with:  “Let me have the pleasure to introduce you to my spam folder” and included this:

The most interesting spam reply in the World.

The spammer was so impressed she replied withing seconds! Well that or this was the first reply to her spam email she ever got.

I love the Most Interesting Man in the World memes. Excellent choice.
I’ll have you removed for my list.

Of course I had to do this:

Surprisingly, it looks like it was that simple.

We then had a Professor forget to tell us the course section she was teaching for this semester. When asked which section she was teaching, she randomly chose one so this happened:

Listen to Boromir!

To be fair, the previous meme was not sent to the Professor, but it was sent to the person who relayed the information to me. I do have some sort of line that I won’t cross… often.

From that point forward, things started to go downhill get funnier as people started replying to me with memes of their own.

I complained to my boss that I had to work over lunch.

I added to the email: “Can I get an office at Lees?” A few seconds after, I got this:

So I replied:

My boss is pretty awesome. 

We’re in a transition period here between two systems, and we’re having a few last minute issues that are delaying the official launch of the new system. This didn’t prevent a colleague of mine to invite me for drinks on Friday night to celebrate the successful completion of the project.

That’s… awkward.

Of course, all good things must come to an end, so I leave you with this:

But when you do, it’s pretty awesome. 😉

You, what are some of the crazy things you do at work when the pressure is really high?

Thirty Questions

Stolen from a whole bunch of people… (Thank you, bunch of people!)

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

I would most likely say 27. Although on some days I feel like I’m 97, so I guess it all evens out somehow. I believe that age is just a number, and that you can be a really old 15 year-old or a very young 90+ year-old.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

I think that in general, it’s worst to never try but I also believe that on occasion its worst to fail at something than to try it. It all depends who the results impact.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Most likely, but that’s only because I say a lot of things. I also do a lot of stuff, but I enjoy not doing anything more than not saying anything.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Get rid of all the idiots. But then again, I think we’re all someone else’s idiot.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

A happy mix of both. I am definitely settling for what I’m doing in certain fields – I believe that a job is just a job, so no biggie there – and I’m lucky enough to have a job that I love most of the time, even if the last year has been really tough. In some other parts of my life, like anything that has to do with my family life, I will never settle.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I think I made the best considering all the unexpected stuff that life threw at me. A little bit of dodging bullets, a little bit of catching a break and a little bit of bad stuff to make te good stuff look even better.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I’m worried about doing the right things right, but that’s because I’m slightly OCD.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

The sooner you learn to not poop your pants, the happier you’ll be.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Yes.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

No. I’m pretty good at reading people, and odds are that if I think you’re insane, you probably are. Not that insane people can’t be creative. I know a few of these.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

I don’t talk in movie theaters. That has to count for something, right?

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Because the things that make me happy tend to be considered not important by other people.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?

Today? Take a nap.
Life in general? Sing the Opera.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

I do push the button more than once but I don’t think it makes the elevator go faster. I’m complex.

Why are you, you?

Every one else was already taken!

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Always.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

That’s a tough one. Forced to choose, I’d have to say I’d rather not be able to make new memories. Because you see, eventually all new memories would become old memories, and I’d lose them too, being left with nothing.

Unless it’s a punctual event, then the question is unclear.

Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

It’s not possible to know the truth even after you challenge it. The truth is a strange concept that can’t be defined anyways, so how would we even know when we get there?

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Not yet.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

This is a really depressing question that makes me realize that I haven’t felt passionate and alive in a long time.

If not now, then when?

Whenever.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Say what?

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

No.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

Metaphorically, I do that every single damn day.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

I’d spend the day with my family. I wouldn’t phone in to work to warn anyone, as they’d all be dead tomorrow anyways.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

I am already extremely attractive and famous. Also, I don’t think I have more than 10 years left.

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Spelled differently? You can be alive and not truly live, but you can’t be truly living and not be alive?

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Nothing. I don’t really care all that much about everyone’s opinion.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Right after reading this question.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Sometimes I let people make decisions for me, but I make damn well sure they make the right decision and sometimes I decide for myself while letting other people think they decided. I pretty much decide all the time, except when I don’t.

Tagged!

I’ve been tagged on Facebook by the funny Bob Mooney. I don’t do Facebook notes, so I’m posting this here instead. Let’s see if I can be funny. 😉

This is the Facebook “intro”. I’m leaving it in case you ever want to do that thing somewhere else.

You’ve been tagged (as have I), you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response, and tagging 25 other victims (I don’t think so!). You have to tag me so really you just need 24 more people. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you, my friend. To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your title as “Getting to know each other!”, tag 25 people including me (tagging is done in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish (I’m not posting this on Facebook so I think I’ll not do that part.)

1. What time did you get up this morning?

Right after the Canadian national anthem. It seems the French CBC has started to play the national anthem in the mornings. This weirds me out, as I tend to be “at attention” when I wake up, IYKWIM.

2. How do you like your steak?

Rare, almost blue and comp’d.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

It started like this:

Crazy, Stupid, Love. It was okay.

4. What is your favorite TV show?

Arrested Development, even if it’s been off the air forever.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I used to instantly write down “Scotland” at this question whenever I did this kind of meme, but that was before I went there for a couple of weeks. So not that I’ve actually been to Scotland, my answer is Scotland.

6. What did you have for breakfast?

A bagel with cream cheese. I’ll have an espresso soon.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

The Pizza I make.

8. What foods do you dislike?

Liver. I saw an autopsy and there is absolutely no way to tell a human liver from a beef liver. So I stopped eating liver. Liver is people. Picture above, a human liver. Kidding it’s a beef liver. Or is it? See, you can’t tell the difference.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?

It varies, depending on what style of stuff I want, weather and what I’m wearing. Right now for casual lunch it’s a little place called Freshii that just open near my workplace. For the more fancy stuff I love Play Food & Wine in the Market, but I went to many restaurants this week and they were all my favorites.

10. Favorite dressing?

I prefer undressing.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?

I drive a big orange Nissan SUV.

Look, it's beautiful!

12. What are your favourite clothes?

Black t-shirt and jeans.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

Now that I’ve done Scotland, I think my next target is either Alaska, Bora-Bora or Japan. We’re planning Italy for next summer as a family, so it’ll have to be after that.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

5 cups.

15. Where would you want to retire?

I’m not sure. I’m guessing someplace warm… Hell?

16. Favorite time of day?

The moment when I have nothing to do. Like that ever happens.

17. Where were you born?

In Canada. Duh.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

Hockey – I was born in Canada. Football as a close second, since I played in High School.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

Since I’m not tagging anyone, moot point.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

Conan O’Brian. Hahaha! Wouldn’t that be something?

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

The Pope?

22. Bird watcher?

Cow eater.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?

It really varies. Sometimes I enjoy getting up at 5, sometimes I enjoy going to bed at 5. As long as it’s not on the same day. Although I used to love going 3-4 days without sleeping.

24. Pets?

None. Never.

25. Any new and exciting news that you’d like to share?

This just in: Crazy dude publishes blog post. Details at eleven.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

An architect. I really love drawing buildings, for some weird reason.

27. What is your best childhood memory?

The one race I won.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

I’m a person person.

29. Are you married?

I am told I am.

30. Always wear your seat belt?

No, I don’t wear it when I’m not in the car.

31. Been in a car accident?

A few of them.

32. Any pet peeves?

I don’t have pet peeves, I have things that really annoy the sh*t out of me.

33. Favorite pizza topping?

Anything is good on pizza.

34. Favorite Flower?

Orchid / Thistle

35. Favorite ice cream?

Free ice cream.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?

Louis Luncheonette

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?

Driver test? Seriously, none.

38. From whom did you get your last email?

Amy Kolsky. You don’t know her. She lives in the States.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Unless it was for an emergency of some sort, I wouldn’t max out my credit card. I’m very conscious of money and money-related stuff.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

Combusted. Poof!

41. Like your job?

Yes, yes I do. Except for the 40 hours a week I have to be there.

42. Broccoli?

43. What was your favorite vacation?

Dominican Republic, 2007.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

@Stillbaking, @MikeGlasspo and LovelyWife.

45. What are you listening to right now?

One of my employee asking for something.

46. What is your favorite colour?

Black.

47. How many tattoos do you have?

Zero, for now.

48. Coffee drinker?

No. Espresso drinker.

49. How many children do you have?

Two, one of each model.

50. Are you in love?

Of course I am.

Your turn. <– If you want to.

My… (really, his)

Avitable created his own meme. Link back to him if you decide to do it yourself:

My favorite age: 24

My best friend: Martin (hi buddy!)

My celebrity crush: I don’t crush on celebrities.

My defining characteristic: I’m me.

My most evil moment: I had a whole summer of evilness in 1991.

My favorite food: Pizza.

My grossest injury: My left ear got ripped out when I was 8.

My biggest hatred: Idiots.

My most illegal activity: I copied most of my X-Box games.

My need for justice: I’m fairly mellow, but if you lie to me you’re done.

My most knowledgeable field: People.

My life’s goal: Staying happy.

My mother’s influence: She taught me to make the right choices, despite the possible consequences.

My nerdiest point: Been playing D&D for 27 years.

My oldest memory: Playing outside. I was 2.

My perfect date: Good food, good wine, great conversation.

My unanswered question: Who are these fruits?

My random fact: I memorize the weirdest things: my old phone numbers, licence plates..

My stupidest decision: Saying yes to “Would you like fries with that?”.

My favorite television show: Cancelled: Arrested Development / Minuit, le soir. Current: Dexter / The Office.

My style of underwear: Boxer briefs. I wear them around like shorts (me too!).

My favorite vegetable: Hearts of palm.

My weakest trait: I’m sensitive.

My X-men power: I steal your powers. All of them.

My strongest yearning: To sing the opera.

My moment of Zen: Reading.