About Me

Well, this seems to be the standard on the many blogs I read. Are you seriously considering reading all of this?

1. I was born in Sherbrooke, Quebec, Canada. That’s not three places, that’s just the town, province and country.

2. Yes I’m canadian, but I never was a teenage pop star touring malls. You’re confusing me with somebody else. I swear.

3. I have a brother and a sister, both of them are younger then me, but if you add them together they are older than me. I don’t think that makes sense.

4. I was conceived on Halloween. My birthday makes me a Cancer and a boar in the Chinese system, but I don’t believe in astrology. In fact, people tell me I should be a Leo all the time, and I sometimes let them believe I am.

5. I’m happily married to my lovely near-sighted wife. I don’t believe that’s why she married me.

6. I have two lovely kids, and they are the bestest smartest greatest kids in the whole wide word. I apologize to the other parents.

7. I was a smart kid. A really smart kid. It all evens out as I grow older.

8. Unrelated to this, I was a really really blond kid. When I met my wife, I had sandy hair. It then changed to brown and now my hair is pitch black.

9. I still draw myself with brown hair.

10. I knew how to write in cursive before I started kindergarden. I had a grandma with a lot of free time on her hands, and she spent a lot of quality time with me.

11. I still think about my grandma almost every day.

12. Until I was 7, I use to think that my family was boring. All my friends parents were going through divorce, were finding out they were adopted, etc., and I had none of that “interesting drama”. Then I started understanding things about our family. That’s when I discovered to be really careful what you wish for.

13. At 8, my left ear got ripped out when a kid in my class pushed me. I was bored in the waiting room so my dad bought me a Tintin and Snowy: “The Broken Ear”. The surgeon sew it back in place while my dad was passing out in the parking lot. That’s when I discovered irony.

14. I was a boy-scout for three years, and I ended up getting the highest possible rank for a kid (Mowgli). I remember my first day as a boy-scout, when I told Akéla I would become Mowgli, and I did. I was a dumb (I was smart, but not street smart!) kid who thought nothing was impossible, and I still am in many ways.

15. I hate camping.

16. Growing up, we always had cats and dogs in our house. My parents pretened it was for us kids, but they enjoy animals as much as we do – maybe more.

17. I’m allergic to cats.

18. While growing up, I couldn’t figure out why I was always coughing, why my nose was stuffed up and my eyes watering all the time. Then I read number 17. I guess I was not that smart.

19. I’m a believer in the Pygmalion principle.

20. I’m a believer in the Peter principle.

21. I played baseball for two years as a kid. I sucked the first year and was one of the best players on my team in the second year.

22. I started playing Dungeons & Dragons in 1981, and never stopped since.

23. I’ve never felt the urge to kill someone (or myself) for something that happen to one of my characters. I think that makes me sane.

24. I’ve met my best friend in september 1983. We saw each other every day for close to 15 years. Then we moved to different cities. I can now go for months without seeing him, but when we meet, it takes about 10 seconds to get back on track like we’ve never stopped seeing each other. To me, that’s friendship.

25. In high school, I played handball for one year and football for three, but I was never a jock.

26. I went to a private high school and believe that private schools are better than public schools.

27. I wanted to be a cop. My high school principal thought I was waisting my life and that I should’ve been a Mathematician/Chemist/Physicist.

28. I had a motorcycle accident, and broke my right humerus. That’s the only bone I ever broke, but it changed my life in a major way.

29. I met my wife in college. I was 20, she was 16. She walked in the room and I immediatly turned to my friend and told him: “I will marry this girl”. We’ve been together 16 years, married 12.

30. I dropped out of college – in part to follow my wife-to-be to Montréal.

31. But I eventually went back and finished.

32. I completed my B.A. in “professionnal carreer guidance”, a program I enrolled in while I waited to be accepted in Law, because it was easy to get in.

33. I never studied law.

34. I dropped out of my Masters in Career Guidance / Counselling. Guess that makes me an official drop out – but I had good reasons.

35. I’m finishing my Masters this summer, after almost 10 years of putting it on hold.

36. I’m a heavy drinker, and my poison of choice is single Malt Scotch (Dalwhinnie is my favorite).

37. Chartreuse and Jagermeister are close seconds.

38. I say I’m a heavy drinker, that doesn’t mean I drink a lot. it means I need a lot of drinks to be drunk, which is why I lean torwards the meaner stuff. I’m rarely drunk, as until recently I couldn’t afford the huge bar bills resulting from a night of drinking.

39. In my younger days, I bought hard liquor by the bottle in bars.

40. I smoked five cigarettes in my life, most of them while drunk, all of them when I was 18.

41. I never did any drugs, as I’m afraid I would like it too much.

42. I went to a strip club three times in my life. Yes, it was three different clubs. I was 16 the first time, and a classmate of mine was a dancer (awkward!). I was 18 the second time, and it was for school (funny story). I was 33 the last time and it was for a bachelor party (I still have nightmares about that one). I don’t enjoy strip clubs. All I can think about is “Who cleans that pole?”

43. I don’t have any tattoos… yet.

44. I play guitar on and off. I learned when I was 11.

45. I used to draw much more better than I can now.

46. I used to speak french much more better than I can now.

47. My first appartment had pink walls.

49. At one point during my college years, I had three jobs and would go to college to sleep and shower.

50. I look like your cousin. This is by far what people tell me when they first meet me.

51. I have friends who meet my doppleganger. Some of my friends have talked with people who look and talk exactly like me for extended periods of time before realizing it wasn’t me. They blame me for it, because they thought I was just goofing around pretending not to know them. None of these friends thought about asking for my doppleganger’s name and/or phone number. Some of them still think it was me they were talking to. My mom also met someone who she thought was me.

52. I’ve owned three cars and one motorcycle in my life.

53. I’m a bug magnet. If there’s one mosquito in the whole forest, you can bet your ass I’m the one who gets bitten. If there’s 1,000 mosquitos in a 10×10 room with you and me, you can bet your last dollar there’s 999 on me and one circling around the light.

54. Most people don’t get my sense of humor. The few who do laugh every second they’re with me.

55. The others don’t hang out with me.

56. First impressions are important to me. That’s why I always try to make a really memorable thing the first time I meet someone. For example, the first time I met Mr. C., he was coming to my house to meet with another friend we had in common. Mr C. had never seen me before. When I opened the door, in my bathrobe, dirty and unshaven, I told him: “I asked the agency for a girl, but you’ll do. Come in and take off your clothes”. That was 15 years ago and we still talk about it.

57. Number 57 was my football jersey number.

58. I’ve been called a chauvinist macho and a whipped husband by the same person.

59. I pretend that what people think about me does not bother me, but it does.

60. I use to love driving. I once drove for almost 7 days straight touring the Maritimes, almost without sleep. Apparently, about 30 km from my house I was driving so slow that it was scary. I don’t remember. I once drove from Sherbrooke to Quebec city, ate a doughnut at Dunkin’ Donuts and drove back. Sherbrooke to Quebec city to Sherbrooke is a 6 hour drive.

61. I started hating driving after the Christmas where I had to drive Sherbrooke to Ottawa to Sherbrooke to Ottawa to Sherbrooke to Ottawa in a blizzard because the family and the gifts and our luggage would not fit in the car in one or two trips.

62. I worked in Switzerland for 2 months.

63. Beeing a canadian in Switzerland was great. I never paid for a drink whil I was there, I was shown all the cool sites and the nice restaurants and one guy lend me a BMW1200 motorcyle for the duration of my stay.

64. While in Switzerland, I saw Iggy Pop at “Le festival de Jazz de Montreux” and rode a motorcyle in the Alps for two days. I also saw the pre-release of “the Blairwitch project”, in english, and the 1999 solar eclipse.

65. Those two months were really hard, as it was the first time in 8 years that I had been away from Lovely Wife for more than a day.

66. I keep clothes for a long period of time. For example, I still have the t-shirt I was wearing on the plane to Switzerland. That was in 1999.

67. That t-shirt is full of holes, paint and in pretty bad shape. My wife hates that t-shirt, and I’m surprized that she still lets me wear it. I’m wearing it now.

68. I wear jeans all the time. I went to a high school where you couldn’t wear jeans, except on special days, and now I can’t stand wearing dress pants.

69. When I go to Scotland, I’ll get a kilt made.

70. Odds are I’ll wear it to work.

71. I’m an avid movie-watcher, and I used to go to the movies 3-4 times a week. In the last year or so, I’ve slowed down to a movie a month. This is partly due to the lack of good movies playing, but also because I’m getting older and can’t only sleep 2-3 hours a night anymore.

72. I try never to loose my temper in any circumstance, as I always think that the stranger in front of me might be my next boss, the ambulance driver, the cook at my favorite restaurant, my kid’s next year teacher. So I’m calm most of the time. But when I loose it, I really loose it.

73. I forgive, but I don’t forget.

74. I either take my coffee black, or I take the weirdest thing on the menu, like a white moccha with cinnamon, no whiped cream. I can’t stand whipped cream.

75. Christmas at my parent’s house use to end in a major whipped cream battle. My mother would prepare multiple ice cream containers filled with whipped cream just for that purpose. I remember one year, my grandma had whipped cream up her nose, my uncle had his shoes filled and pretty much everybody had whipped cream in places there’s not supposed to be any. When we finished cleaning up, we realized that someone had stuck his hand in the actual vanilla ice cream during the fight.

Craig got tired of waiting for these, so he wrote the last 25. Tahnks, I guess…

76. You can locate the bathroom in any McDonalds on Earth.

77. You are not sarcastic…. Oh noo… not you….

78. You like warm Brie.

79. You parents are lotto winners.

80. Your family passes around the same Christmas gift.

81. Women like the Alpha male.

82. You once chose a bug deflector over air conditioning.

83. You are a raccoon hunter.

84. You are a mouse slayer.

85. You know how to install a mod chip in an Xbox.

86. You and Martin wore ear plugs to a Marilyn Manson concert.

87. You like clothespins on your nipples. No specific time either… just whenever… oh… wait.. .that’s me!

88. You no longer go to McDonalds’, which makes 76 all the more impressive.

89. You design web sites without dancing phones.

90. Half of the vehicles you have owned were Toyotas.

91. You let the dogs out.

92. You wish you were one of the guys in Clerks.

93. Poor planning on my part does not constitute an emergency on your part!

94. Your nose whistles during the quiet scenes at a movie theatre.

95. You REALLY want to paint ball.

96. You used to “Shovel My Drive-Way”. (Wink-wink!!)

97. You are gay, just not with me.

98. You like repetitive jokes.

99. You have the best interior decorating ideas of any heterosexual man I have ever met.

100. You like repetitive jokes.