Month: April 2007


Imported from the old…

I love hotels. I find they give you a warped sense of reality that you can’t get from any other experience in the whole world.

Where else can you make coffee in the bathroom? Seriously. The coffee maker (one of those tiny tiny little tings) is in the bathroom, with coffee, tea, sugar and powdered milk. I kid you not. Who thought of this? There’s nothing better than the feeling of sitting on the can, thinking “I could really make some coffee now” and actually just lean forward and do it. Couple that with crapping the biggest thing you’ve ever seen soming out of there, and I can tell you that your sense of accomplishment is at an all time high.

That’s until you’re sitting down a few minutes later, drinking the coffee and writing about the whole thing, and you realize the implication of having a coffee maker in a bathroom of what is essentially a public place.


Imported from the old…

My mom once said, after the cat scratched the brand-spanking new expensive oak table that they just got, that little mishaps made the things they owned more “experienced”. Ever since then, I’ve been using that expression when something gets banged up, scratched or broken.

Here’s a list of the “experienced” stuff in and around my house.

  • The car. My current car is experienced in many ways. During its first week of living, a friend of mine scratched the back fender with his army boot, when he tried to rest his foot on the tire (he was carrying a computer). Then my wife hugged a freshly painted curb, hit an icy snowbank, scratched the car on a post – and then lost control of the car. Har har.
  • The microwave. Let’s just say that the microwave is not experienced, it’s just plainly dead now.
  • The couch. I’m hoping that if I put the couch on the list, and my wife reads it, we’ll get a new couch. I hate my couch.
  • The floor in my home office. The movers did that, with the heavy desk I was using. They scratched the hell out of the floor, and since it’s floating floor it’s not easily replaceable without ripping out the whole thing.
  • The shed in the backyard. It was already experienced when we got the house. Now it’s on its last leg.
  • The stove. I accidentally dropped something (I don’t remember what) on the stove and chipped the enamel finish.
  • My wife’s bicycle. She took a nasty fall last spring.
  • My wife. She was on the previously mentionned bike, and banged her knee. She’s all better now.